good news and bad news

I have a new blog! you can find it here.

the nature of the beast

the past few weeks seemed like they were out of a movie. i was overwhelmed with lasts—taking in as much as i possibly could. i was amelie with her hand in the barrel of dried beans at the market. i spent my nights sharing time with all of my favorite people. eating at all of my favorite restaurants for the last time. katie and i sat awkwardly in the kitchen one night surrounded by boxes and cleaning supplies. our chairs were pulled up to a folding tv dinner table covered with our orders from india palace, one of our favorite lawrence spots. in the middle of the mess of boxes sat her record player and we listened to suzannah johannes as we scrubbed the floor we'd all walked on. i have no doubt her haunting voice will bring me back to lawrence in my dreams as i lay on my palette in the deserts of afrika. other nights it will be rusty's voice, and i'll be standing back in the replay or the jackpot surrounded by my favorites people drinking boulevard wheat. i'll probably miss that..

my going away party at harbour was wonderful. all my favorite people filled the tables and i bounced around talking to everyone and giving the tightest hugs i could. i only cried once. lindsey, my old roommate and a best friend, arrived with her gaggle of architects. earlier she had given her final presentation of the project that kept her from going to my goodbye dinner. i got the chance to see the presentation and i had never been so proud of her. i watched the architects drool from speechless open mouths as she revealed more and more research and work she had done. it was amazing. as she began to tear up in the bar i could see she thought she needed me. we had supported each other these past years. talking late on the couch for hours some nights helping sort through each others' lives. i teared up because i knew she didn't need me anymore. i had seen her hard work and passion work out—anyone's dream.

i drove off the next day. my last drive through the flint hills. i had a stack of mixtapes from katie and lindsey to soundtrack the journey.

i slept in my childhood room on the floor for the last time. laying in the position of the bed that once existed. my parents drove off the next day in the uhaul. i've been staying with my sister taking dallas by storm. one more day of saying goodbyes in texas.

this is an exhausting business..

moving and shakin

I haven't had too much to write lately. not because of a lack of thoughts— more like too many. everything has been taken off the walls and the rest organized to sell off. the past few nights before falling asleep the last thing i see are these blank unfamiliar walls, which spins me into a shallow discomforting sleep with dreams flickering between what still needs to be done and why is time moving this quick. katie moved out last night so for the first time i'm on my own. its exciting! it sucks! today is my living estate sale and all my stuff is slowly disappearing as my friends come and find new treasures and my treasures find new homes.

i like my stuff.

but we've had our time.

on my death bed of sorts

it's strange to think about how i want to say goodbye to things in a month. whats the proper etiquette for things like this? i have a month to try and hang out with everyone i love in lawrence, to see everything i haven't gotten around to seeing the past 4.5 years i've been here. i've always been the kid at summer camp who was grossed out by the girls crying about being homesick. i just never got it. i knew i would go home. calm down, kid, it's just 2 weeks and then you're back at your house being hot and bored because it's texas. i'm not usually one to miss people either. this time it's a little different. when i come "home" everyone will be scattered. in a month everything changes, and i say real goodbyes. but who really feels the sincerity of a goodbye until they're already gone..

i guess i'll have a party or something..

things to do before i leave: (feel free to add to it)

•sell all of my stuff

•take pictures of the town

•go to all the stores on mass i've never been in

•eat at kelly's diner with ferrell

•find a way to see everyone at once and hug them really tight

•get people's email

•finish my website so peeps can follow me

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silver bells and orange juice in guinness glasses

when my roommate and I have the same day off, the morning is guaranteed to be awesome. this morning was no exception. i woke up first and started making biscuits and eggs for some breakfast sandwiches. i put the morningstar sausage in the microwave and rinsed off some strawberries. i woke up katie—mom style—and we ate breakfast on the couch.

last night we drove to the oread hotel to go to the jimmy johns and steal some toilette paper. across the street is my old apartment so i stopped in to say hi and grab the copious amounts of christmas records i've collected over the years. this morning, as we sat on the couch, we listened to john denver's christmas for cowboys and talked about what our christmas traditions are until it wasn't technically morning anymore.

katie did her hair as i talked to my aunt on the phone about peace corps. she sounded sleepy because she had stayed up till 4am reading the seventh harry potter to get ready for the movie. i have the best family ever. i havent gotten placed yet so i have nothing new on the pc front, but we talked about being pin cushions for shots and melt down prone on return. still excited.

best morning ever.

photo booth

photo booth history of the past year

nashville weddin

my roommate when i lived in nashville got married the other weekend and i flew out to see it all happen. it was the most beautiful and classic nashville wedding that ever occurred. pretty sure. they had the ceremony on the pedestrian bridge that crosses the cumberland river. the reception was on the rooftop of a building on broadway overlooking all the honky-tonks and bright lights that make up the quintessential nashville. her photographer took some rad pics. i got featured on her blog! maybe she'll remember me when i ask her to take my wedding pictures.. just kidding.